Come fly with me

If you haven't spent the last month globe-trotting, I thought you might appreciate my tips on surviving long-haul flights.

Don't forget your travel documents! I find that clamping them between my gum and two teeth is the best way of keeping them safe.

Try to get a seat at the very front of the plane. This way you'll have a good view of the cabin and you can grab the staff as they pass.

Brushing your teeth really helps you feel refreshed.

As does a good sleep.

And nothing breaks up the journey like a night at an airport hotel. It also allows you to inspect the cargo.

For the second leg of the flight, all bets are off and you might as well enjoy the free grog. Just don't expect to arrive looking fresh as a daisy.